Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in Jei's LiveJournal:

Friday, November 23rd, 2001
10:17 pm	My life and why it sucks Have you ever wanted to walk into on coming traffic? Yeah, that's how I feel. If you have a problem, go fuck yourself. "Life is like a penis. Most people don't know it, but most people suck so they usually blow it" Wise Man Current Mood: enraged Current Music: Undertow (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 7th, 2001
1:09 am	What is on my mind? ..... Current Mood: devious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 6th, 2001
9:55 am	Sorry Carl I had no intention of using anyone. I have tried to make it a point to spend time with everone. I only have two days a week to spend with friends, friday and saturday. The others I've dedicated to work and school, which I do spend time with you guys at school. Saturdays are the days when all my friends are available to do something. I try to make plans, but for the past few weeks everyone else has had plans which I was not included. I'm not saying I'm right or wrong. I think that in the situation I spoke about the other day everyone is wrong to a degree but also right. I'm not playing any "logic games" with anyone. I'm just trying to speak the truth, which is something everyone has been reluctant to do. I just want things back to the way they were before everyone started talking trash about everyone and people were ignored or avoided. I apologise for being harsh the other day. My main frustration was pointed towards Chris Dituri. If you've heard the things he has said about ALL OF US, you wouldn't want this guys around at all. I thought he was a friend of mine. That is why I took such a harsh tone last time. I am sorry about that. I just want the bullshit to end. This isn't all about everyone against me. This is about everyone against each other. I'm just trying to lay down the truth. Carl appreciate your honesty and am sorry if I offended you. No one else has responded, so I don't know how anyone else feels. I guess we'll see how everything goes today. Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Monday, November 5th, 2001
9:08 pm	Need nicotine! Damn, I haven't had a smoke since thursday night. This sucks. Oh well, Einar I hope you are happy. Current Mood: stressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
2:15 am	I'm pissed at all those who have spoken ill of me. Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
12:58 am	What are friends? I haven't written in here for a while. I've had a lot of thinking to do. I asked myself the other day, "what are friends". I have always seen a friend as a compainon who shares experiences with you and remains by your side wether things are good or bad. I've been asking myself if friends of mine are really friends. When I thought about it, most of my friends aren't really friends. It seems we are just a group of people who spend time with each other out of habit. I have been having a lot of problems in my life lately; depression, school, debt, girfriend, and now my so called friends. Lately, all my friends have spent their time together bitch and talking behind the backs of whom ever isn't in their presence. I recently discovered some things my "friends" have been saying about me. When I confront them, I am lied to by some, others deny, and others hold back. It seems we have the strength to say the things we say when no one is looking. I have made the mistake of confiding in my "friends". Things that I have said have been manipulated from the truth and used against me. People who I thought where friends of mine would treat me as so, and then behind my back would insult me as if I was some sort of enemy. I don't understand what has happened. I don't know when this whole mess started, but apparently it has been going on for quite some time. I am tired of this. I am tired of hearing all the bitching. I am tired of hearing "friends" insulting their "friends" when they aren't around. I am tired of hearing about what Chris said behind my back, or Josh, Sohiel, Carl, Erin. I don't want to hear about any of this bullshit anymore. I don't know when people became such pussies they couldn't confront a person with what problems they have with each other. It disgusts me. If you have a problem with me, you take it up with me. If I have a problem with you, I'll take it up with you. From now on, I'm not putting up with anymore shit. If you want to be my friend, I suggest you take my advise. If not, then you can fuck off. I have friends who don't treat me like shit. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001
9:21 pm	My first real use of this What does one talk about in a journal? Am I supposed to talk about all the thins that go on inside my head? Those things you wish your friends not to know. Although, the whole world can read my thoughts. I really don't know what to write about. Should I write about my day, my life, my feelings. What is it I can write about that I feel comfortable with the world knowing. This being my first true entry to my new found journal, I will make a start here. Hello, I'm Jei. I am also Josh. I'm at a weird point in my life where I am trying to find my true self. Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am. I'm going to a doctor tommorow because I think I might have bipolar dissorder. My emotions get the best of me. My nickname is Jei but my name is Josh. I think of Josh as my old self and my weaker half. That is the half that gives in to my depression. Jei is my newer self. The half of me that is stronger, fun and exciting. I know, I told you I am at a wierd point in my life. I think that mabye by putting some of my thoughts into words, I can overcome the the obstacles before me. Mabye, I could get some advise along the way. I'll see you here in the future, and tommorow when I tell you how the doctor's appointment went. Thank you for reading (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 20th, 2001
11:47 pm	Today Today I feel depressed (Comment on this)